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Sex, condoms and having 'that' chat with a new partner Sex, condoms and having 'that' chat with a new partner no Close Almost half of s say they don't use a condom when sleeping with someone for the first time. But why? Trying to avoid a chqt awkward conversation just before having sex might have something to do with it. But having 'the condom chat' is more important than ever, hxve a young person being diagnosed with an STI every four minutes in England.

Bustle asked Vanessa Marind sex psychotherapisthow to have video and phone sex hve you're in a long distance relationship — a must-know for anyone separated from their partner right now. That time we were on vacation in Mexico, and we started making out in the jacuzzi?

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And why does it feel so strange? Do you remember that? Plus, it frees up your hands to do other things in the moment! But you don't often hear the nitty-gritty details of how you might actually achieve those things?

How to have video and phone sex in a long distance relationship, because a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do

Is there something about ethics or morals? You can dex check out this list of options. Learning how to have a long-distance sex life may require a little extra effort, patience, and creativity, but you can make it work for your relationship. Jess O'Reillya resident sexologist at Astroglidetells Bustle. Give yourselves some time to adjust to the transition. Saying something simple like, "You know what I've always wanted to do Chances are they've felt the same way, Grant says, and will appreciate the fact hace creating a safe space to be vulnerable.

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Who knows, you might even want to start trying it right then and there. Keeping it light will combat awkwardness, Bronstein says, while also contributing to a peaceful conversation, cyat more open-mindedness. Or ask them to tell you where he wants to touch. From there, once you do start talking about things like fantasies, be sure you validate each other.

Hvae have been asking you about 'that' chat, and getting some expert tips on how to deal with it.

Sex chat: five awkward conversations and how to have them

Kate Balestrieripsychologist and sex therapist, tells Bustle that it's best to talk about it beforehand. Instead, "have fun with the conversation," she says. Asking each other fun, quirky, or interesting questions.

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Get more comfortable with your body. Kate Balestrieripsychologist and sex therapist This article was originally published on Dec. Even if you've been together forever, "you'll need to keep the conversation going," O'Reilly says, "as needs, interests, and boundaries vary from day to day. Share your fantasies during late-night pillow talks, discuss sex the next morning, keep those sexts going — and you should both begin to feel more comfortable.

Sensual couple lying in bed together, hugging after sex, talking and smiling, satisfied girlfriend and boyfriend enjoying romantic moment at home, looking in eyes, man holding in arms woman close up Shutterstock 1. So, how do you talk to your partner about sex?

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You might even want to schedule a time to talk, Grant says, so that it feels less sudden. Instead, admit that talking about sex has felt a bit off-limits or taboo.

Focus on communicating and leave your inhibitions at the door. Turn the camera away when you feel awkward, but play it up as teasing him. Be Enthusiastic About What You Like The next time something sexy happens, and you're all about it, make sure to let your partner know. You won't, for instance, want to bring up the topic when you're cranky, or tired, or late for work.

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Not to mention, it totally counts as foreplay. Talk About Your Plan If you're new to phone or video sex, it can be a little scary to jump in unprepared.

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Start Off By Sexting One big advantage that sexting has over face-to-face interaction is the freedom it gives you to test the waters, share intimate thoughts, and start a deeper conversation about sex — without the pressure of broaching the subject in person. Grant, PsyDa d clinical therapist, tells Bustle.

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Pick A Good Time To Talk Of course, you can always take a deep breath and say, in a straightforward way, that you have a few things on your mind that you'd like to share. I think it's so hot when you do that.

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Or you can send each other sexy presents to use the next time you see each other. But having 'the condom chat' is more important than ever, with a young person being diagnosed with an STI every four minutes in England.

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Talk About Sex More Often Once you've eased past the first few potentially awkward conversations, make a point of discussing sex more often, so that it becomes second nature. Arrange Sex Chhat Spontaneously transitioning to phone or video sex is fun, but if you have roommates or opposing schedules to contend with, you might be more successful if you plan beforehand.

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In-person sex is like that, too! It'll also be a great time to talk about consent.

12 video chat sex tips from women in long distance relationships

Ask your partner what they envision your sex life looking like when the two of you are apart. Couples may put off these conversations time and again because bringing these topics to light can mean rocking the boat or digging up some potentially embarrassing or unpleasant feelings. Or does it bring up bad memories? Keep It Lighthearted You won't want to start this conversation with the dreaded "we need to hqve Jaime Bronstein, LCSWa psychotherapist and hace clinical social worker, tells Bustle.

You get to hear your partner's responses in real time, which makes it feel less isolating.

For an easy place to start, or a smooth way to transition into dirty talkbring hav of your favorite memories of having sex together. And when did you finally learn the truth? Letting your partner know is important so that they can be more aware of what you don't like, and support you in avoiding that going forward.

As you get more comfortable, try masturbating together over video chat. But why? Buy yourself a new toy or some hot lingerie. Per Marin, here are some ideas for places to start: Turn the lights down in your room or light candles. This is a sure-fire way to get some sexy talk going without having to initiate verbally.

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